“…a movie that I can only compare to Michael Bay’s Pearl Harbour…”

When I woke up this morning I felt an overwhelming urge to go see a movie. I checked my phone and discovered that the only thing that I even remotely wanted to see was The Finest Hours. I remember seeing a trailer that looked like a really intense action movie, about some guys stuck on a boat. So i went to the theatre at 10:00 am and bought my ticket. The showtime for 10:15 am was presented in 3D, and I kept wondering to myself why all movies are in 3D these days. I sat down in the theatre and the movie started. 2 hours later I came to, and kept praying that I was still asleep in my bed, and I hadn’t just payed $15 to see a movie that I can only compare to Michael Bay’s Pearl Harbour.

As you can tell, I don’t have a very good opinion about this movie. And since I was always told “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” I will keep my review brief. For those who don’t know, the movie was marketed as an against all odds rescue movie that takes place in one of the scariest places on planet earth, the ocean. The movie starts off with an hour long love story of two characters you know absolutely nothing about, but it still expects you to care. During this love story, there are scenes of this aforementioned boat that is in peril. That’s right, there are scenes of the boat that is left at sea. The movie leaves you witnessing a really scary nautical disaster from the eyes of a man working for the coastguard who doesn’t even know about the disaster until half way through the movie. I’m not going to go into any more plot details, because honestly, anyone could figure out the major plot points. I’m just going to say that the movie was bland, and I will probably forget about it by this afternoon. There was one thing I liked about the movie, a really cool tracking shot that takes place about halfway through the movie, but other than that there was nothing but disappointment. I thought the acting was mediocre at best, and the accents were comical at times. The best part of the movie was Eric Bana playing a less mentally competent Forest Gump, because at least that supplied a few laughs.

I’ve long heard many people complain about “every movie” being in 3D, but I always thought most movies had a good reason to be. This movie had everything but a good reason to be in 3D. It would be like seeing The Notebook in 3D, it was a waste of money. So if you want to see a love story where the two main characters, through many trials and tribulations, learn to disobey orders and to believe in the power of luck, The Finest Hours is for you! But if you would rather not see a movie that is 75% hokey love story, interlaced with, I admit, some pretty cool scenes of men from all walks of life banding together to stay alive, I would stay as far away from this movie as you could.

I give The Finest Hours a D (2/5)