“Everything just felt kind of phoned in….”

Continuing on with my Marvel review-athon, last night i watched Thor. Now Thor is about the god (superhero) Thor who, after getting banished from Asgard by his father Odin, must try to reclaim his powers and return to his home before his brother, Loki, fucks everything up. There is only one thing standing in his way of accomplishing his goal, and that is the fucked up pacing in this movie. Honestly, that is the biggest problem I have with Thor, it seems like the story lines are all over the place. Other than that I think Thor is an all around fun time. But I’m not here to praise movies, I’m here to nitpick and belittle them. So let’s get to it.

Thor’s biggest issue, as I mentioned before, is pacing. Thor has to go on a journey to reclaim his rightful place in Asgard, and it felt like I had to go on a journey to make it to the credits. Thor’s pacing problem lies in the fact that the movie has about 4 story lines running concurrently, and instead of only focusing on the interesting stuff the movie focuses on the minute details. Instead of the movie being just about Thor, it is also about Thor’s friends, Thor’s brother, Thor’s father, Thor’s father’s gatekeeper, S.H.E.I.L.D. (who are simultaneously the good and bad guys in this movie), and for some reason it is also about some scientists on earth. You may think I am being pedantic by naming so many people related to Thor, but keep in mind that each of the groups named have enough screen time of just them to warrant them being on that list. And the fact that the movie focused on little things may just be my point of view, but either way it did feel like the stories were rushed (probably because there were so many of them) without much real progress being made. I won’t go into more specifics because I don’t want to spoil the movie, and because I am pressed for time to actually get this review posted within today’s 24 hour cycle. The second issue I had with Thor was the comedy. The movie has about as much comedy as the other Marvel films but Thor has one thing different about it: Most of the jokes in Thor aren’t funny. I’m not sure why they felt the need to “force” jokes into the script, because there are many instances where the movie is funny enough by itself. Of course, I am just dancing around the topics so I am going to come right out and say it: Kat Dennings is the problem. Maybe that was a bit harsh because I’m sure she didn’t write the script, but she was most certainly cast to play a ‘Kat Dennings’ character. If you have seen any other piece of her work, you will know what I am talking about. Kat Dennings seems to have an ability that allows to her be spectacularly unfunny in every role she is in. Again, this isn’t necessarily a jab at Kat herself (I am sure she is a lovely woman) but it’s hard not to blame her when every role she plays sucks. The actual comedy came from Thor having to adjust to the customs of Earth. It was a classic “fish out of water” comedy premise, and it was executed well. Unfortunately that fish was accompanied by an annoying fucking parrot named Kat Dennings who would spout shitty one liners out like clockwork. To add onto that, Kat Dennings looked utterly bored being in Thor. Maybe she didn’t read the script before she took the part, or she was longing to back on her wildly successful sitcom “2 Broke Girls” (seriously, how the fuck is show still on the air?). Either way, she looked uninterested. And guess who was right there with her? Natalie Portman. Now I am a huge Natalie Portman fan, so it hurts me to say this, but it just felt like her heart wasn’t in this movie. Sure there were a couple of scenes where I guess she decided to care, but overall it feels like a halfhearted attempt to get a pay check. Other than that I would say that the effects still look pretty good, and the camera work was also well done. Side note, why did this movie have so many dutch angle shots? I’m not super familiar with director Kenneth Branagh’s other works, so is it a thing he does? Or did he just get bit by the art house bug and decide to flex his muscles on Thor? Either way it was weird, but not in a bad way. It added a certain flare that would have otherwise been lacking.

Thor is an interesting movie. It was pretty fun to watch, apart from some pacing issues, but it feels like it was a made for TV movie, if that makes sense. Everything just felt kind of phoned in.

I give Thor a C