“A different edit can’t fix the problems that are so deeply engrained in this film.”

Alright, here’s the deal: I’m an idiot. With Justice League being released soon I wanted to brush up on my DCEU, but the only movie I actually would want to watch that is part of the DCEU is Wonder Woman (and I had just seen it a few months ago). The one movie I hadn’t scene is the Ultimate Edition of Batman v. Superman. This is where the ‘stupid’ comes in. I didn’t want to watch the original Batman v. Superman (for obvious reasons), so I just watched the Ultimate Edition. This proved to be a dumb move because I hadn’t seen Batman v. Superman since it was in theatres, so I have nothing to compare the Ultimate Edition to. To try and rectify the ‘me being an idiot’ situation, I read my old review that I wrote when Batman v. Superman first came out. So this review isn’t going to be a review so much as it is going to be me just talking to myself. Oh, and if you’re wondering if you should go back and read my old review, I wouldn’t recommend it. I’m not a good writer now, but I was even worse back then. So let’s get into it.

I’m not going to give you a rundown of the plot or anything because this movie has been out for over a year, so instead let’s get to work. The first thing I talk about in my other review was how I found the story of Batman v. Superman to be kind of all over the place. And this segues wonderfully in to my other point of contention with this review: perception. I didn’t find the story of the Batman v. Superman Ultimate Edition to be all that poorly paced, but that might be because I expected it to be shitty when I sat down to watch it. Essentially what I’m saying is: This review may hold even less relevance due to the fact that I knew Batman v. Superman was a shitty movie going into it. Anyway I didn’t find the story as hard to follow as I seemingly did the first time I watched it, but it was still long as shit. Too long if you ask me. Like 90 minutes too long. Like the movie should have ended right after Batman and Superman fight, and started just before they fought. Batman v. Superman is so fucking long because they are trying to play catch-up with Marvel. It’s not because Zack Snyder is an auteur; it’s not because Batman v. Superman mirrors Arthurian legends that make academics cream their jeans; it’s because of money. Marvel had come out with The Avengers, and DC wanted some of that cash. This complete lack of regard for the quality of their product hurt them (not in the wallet, but in the trust of the public).

The next thing I talk about in my old review was the score in the film, specifically how jarring it was to go through so many different styles of music in such a short period of time. This time around, I honestly didn’t notice that at all. As a matter of fact I found the score to be the bet part about this movie. The music was emotional and a lot of it hit really hard. And of course the Superman ‘flight’ song that was used is fucking gorgeous. One thing I did have a problem with was Wonder Woman’s theme, and this isn’t a problem with the theme itself just how out of place it felt. During the final battle it was fine, but when Batman is looking through photos on a flash drive? Yeah, maybe don’t include that one there. The rest of my old review goes in to a lot of specifics about what I found terrible about the movie on a very small scale, really picking apart everything I could remember, and most of that stuff still stands true. The Ultimate Edition of Batman v. Superman may have been enough to make me not as confused, but really it didn’t do much to make the movie any better. A different edit can’t fix the problems that are so deeply engrained in this film.

Overall did I like the Ultimate Edition of Batman v. Superman more than the original cut? I guess so. It was marginally better in that I didn’t want to kill myself quite as often when I was watching it. Did the Ultimate Edition make Batman v. Superman a good movie? Fuck no. Nope. Nope. Nope. No amount of editors could salvage this garbage fire. At least with this cut you get to stand back and watch it from ten feet away instead of being in the middle of it.

I give the Ultimate Edition of Batman v. Superman a C